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It Shouldn't be this Hard


"This posting has been flagged for removal." - Dreaded words for those posting on Craigslist, but in all honesty, it really should not be this hard.


Craigslist seems to be one of the last bastions these days to try and find activity partners. Ever since the BackPage cleanout, which was in great need, Craigslist also removed their personals/missed connection section. Granted, most of those were more looking for hookups or veiled escort ads, but still, there were genuine people there.


So why this huff? Well for me, and this particular niche, I am looking for an activity partner. I am just throwing caution to the wind and putting it out there - "hey, I would like to meet a woman who either wants to make me up in a feminine form or is willing to spend time helping me learn and improve makeup skills." Granted, from this site alone, there can be a large sexual component, and if not directly physically sexually related, the mental excitement of these desires does indeed have a sexual component.


But at the core of what I am seeking on CL, that does not come into play. My posts are polite, and all focus on me being a man, wanting to either be made over or learn makeup from a woman and how to do my own looks. There is no mention of sex, graphic or otherwise implied, but more frustrating, the blatant posts that are trolling for "woodwork" or "pipe cleaning" heck, some even blatantly state "BJ"... those survive the ax of the haters.


Now granted, it is not everyone's cup of tea, but it does seem in this world of tolerance, this taboo subject, wanting to learn how to apply makeup is so evil and vile, it gets removed, sometimes within minutes of going live. Then there is the occasional hate mail. There have been some occasions, whereby miraculous happenstance, the posting survives the purge and the trickle of replies fall into a few camps


The last group is at least encouraging. The young ones freak me out. At the core, I am generally nervous about putting myself out there the way I am, but that is just a whole level of wrong.


Like other things, rise, repeat and try again. The close successes are encouraging, and as a whole, it just seems like if I have the posting up at the right time, the connection I am looking for is there. It has been eye-opening, to say the least, especially in some regards.


There may not be a more bitter group than lesbians. If anything, you would think that an alternative lifestyle community would be supportive of the "other colors" or "initials" or however you want to break it down, but that is the farthest from the proof.


I have one posting that did survive. It was a little vaguer. It talked about wanting to explore "my feminine" side, wanting to learn how to do makeup, etc. The woman who replied at first was encouraging, we started to discuss in more detail and then after about the 4th email, she then realizes I am a man. "Dude you just wasted my time you are a man I don't hang out with trannies." and "Keep on living your lies and illusion!" Now I was puzzled at first. I mean I clearly stated about wanting to explore my feminine side, learn makeup, etc. From the number of guys, TV, and couples who had also responded, everyone else seemed to get it. Then I realized that the respondent was likely lesbian, she thought I was the same but more butch and trying to soften. Now I felt bad. I honestly was not trying to deceive or mislead, but the more I reflected, and the more how I saw everyone else understood the posting, it was her and not me.


Perhaps it is jealousy. While I know I have some good features, I still have a male frame. I am not one of the waifish traps that really have more potential to be a knockout than a fair portion of the GG crowd, and I think that is where the resentment at her core came from.


It is what it is. I just shake my head. I am not looking for sex. I am just looking for someone open-minded who can share some time, tips and tricks on contouring and highlighting, and just get a female perspective on my face, what to her are feminine features, and how best to accentuate those while hiding others.


Or maybe it is just so many are resentful that someone wants to step outside of the box and labels that are associated with them and be someone else, if just for a few hours. At the core, what has probably frustrated me the most is in the past I still see myself in the mirror. Part of what I want if the freedom of looking and not recognizing the face looking back, seeing feminine features that are appealing to me, and through that, mentally have the permission to just let go and be someone else, completely diametrically opposed to myself, and enjoy the fashion I love, not as something taboo, but sexy.


It shouldn't be this hard.


Feel free to drop a line to and we can see where it goes