Welcome to this little journey. Ultimately I am seeking a relationship with a strong, intelligent, vivacious woman who has a little bit of flair, panache and certain tastes that match mine. Well, for one, the name of the site really reveals a lot about that, but also worth expanding upon this as for me this kink part is a small aspect, although and important one. It is part lust, part fantasy, and part just escape from myself and just a release. I have no sense of gender dysphonia - I have no notion that I am trapped in the wrong body, nor do I have any real desire to live my life dressed as a woman. Anytime I have experimented with dressing on my own, it has always been part of playing out the fantasy and imaging I was being forced.
At the core, it is part fetish, part teasing, part control, with a layer of excitement of the danger of potential humiliation all rolled up in a ball of kinky nerves. It is the butterflies in the stomach as well as the nervous juxtaposition of giving up control, and in some ways wanting to resist, but deep down, knowing it is something that I desire. Ideally then, someone with a bit of a devilish streak who is not afraid to take the reins would be ideal.
For whatever reason, images like the above have always excited me. So many wonderful things that make my mind swim. The first obvious aspect, is a strong, dominant woman. She is exerting her will to the point that she is physically changing her slave into something of her creation. This is further reinforced by her application of bondage to restrain her subject, and lastly, there is the lavish attire of gorgeous leather, boots, corsets, and gloves. I have always been drawn to leather over latex and also love feminine clothing that has texture or affects the other senses, so fuzzy angora or mohair sweaters, furs, satins... things like those. PVC and "shiny" is less of my thing. Further, I do adore the bondage aspects of it as well. While it can be kinky and fun to be dressed up for some "play time" and having your partner being in control of what you wear, the notion that this can be "forced" and perhaps the dress and heels locked on, adds a whole other level.
The center of this is a control aspect - you could call it domination, but in the end, it is something that excites me to the point that I seek it out. The control is amplified, because while being forced into the women's clothes would be exciting as it is, it is heightened in that the clothes and heels can be locked on and she alone has the key. She has chosen what I wear and taken measures that assure I comply as long as she sees fit. The excitement of something that is taboo, the sense of fear of embarrassment - It is being in that position of being controlled to such a big degree that excites me the most. For whatever reason, this probably stems from the excitement of those girls versus boys games as a child where the more aware and mature girls would chase the boys. I always had an undercurrent of wanting to be caught, and somehow, that in my mind would be expanded where she would dress me up, apply some bondage so I was unable to remove the clothes and then I was at her whims because I could not flee for fear of embarrassment.
Here as well is where I may also be a little unique - The extent and frequency is really all in her court. Some outfits of course make a lot of sense down this path - yes, the stereotypical maid uniform is perhaps a bit cliché - though definitely would be hotter if done up in leather. Corsets of course come to mind, and that feeling as the laces are tightened as well as the changes it makes to the shape and outline of the body. So whether just corset and heels to head to toe as a maid that is all under your control. I do tend to have more of a masculine build, so there is no illusion in my mind of my shape and form - These days, there are some men which truly lovely feminine features who can straddle two worlds. Some of that can be addressed with make-up artistry, but in the end, reality sets in with the base being built upon. So whether it is a smattering of clothes and heels to full make-up, that aspect I leave in her hands. I could also see learning to the extent that I could apply makeup on her and perhaps we had a sitting room where she relaxed and sat back. There is a kind of shared intimacy in that to me.
The rest of the time, I envision a more normal relationship, and generally gravitate to the more Alpha role. While this particular kink is more on the submissive end of the spectrum, I can, and have been the dominant one in and out of the bedroom. I am good around the house, a protector, a provider, and I do a lot of my own car maintenance for example.
The frequency is really up to her - a few times a year? Monthly? Weekend maid service in which I am locked into a uniform, sent off to clean and attend to chores while she relaxes, enjoys the free time, or perhaps even being pampered and waited on - that bit of exchange really at a minimum seems only fair. As well as another strong benefit is having your partner truly enjoy the preparation and beauty that can be a part of women's fashion. And while not minding a day of shopping likely there will always be an undercurrent of fear around the makeup counters or other areas where quickly I realize that the intended person is me and not her for the purchase.
To some degree, that is where the opening line comes into play - the power dynamic over time always could shift to her much further than originally envisioned, and what have may at first started as a tolerated / mildly enjoyed activity for her, could blossom into great enthusiasm and ever increasing degrees all around. While I believe it is more of the thing of fairy tales and internet lore, this is something that to me has yet to be truly explored with another. Reality can be a long way from fantasy, and the possibility does exist that once travelling down this path, her enthusiasm could greatly outpace mine. To a degree "well you asked for it," not only would be justified, but have to be accepted on my part for opening that door. Though in the fiction space, the extremes as well do exist.
While people say age is just a number, experience and maturity do factor in. I am youthful and most people peg me for mid 30s, so stripping a full decade off, and am probably looking for someone in their 40s as well, Willing to dip late 30s for someone exception, and have no issue with older in their early 50s, but I also don't feel like dating my mom nor her friends. I am looking for someone who has more feminine traits and leads a healthy lifestyle. Someone who can dress up and enjoy luxurious styles, but also someone who like leather and fur - so PETA folks would likely be a clash - prefer omnivores and carnivores to the vegan crowd as well. She should appreciate fashion, but not be a slave to it. For myself, I appreciate the quality and tailoring with better labels, but am also a bargain hunter and enjoy hunting closeout / trunk show / barely worn pieces than the sticker shock which is so many of these overpriced labels these days - With each passing decade, I have noticed a fall-off in quality and materials for so many labels.
Feel free to drop a line to curious@forcedfemme.com and we can see where it goes